Danish Wind

From the desk of: Harvey H. Homitz

Office Bar and Grill
23°43’N 82°08’W
Planet Earth

To: Justin Gillis
C/o. The Editor,
      New York Times, 620, 8th. Ave.
      New York, NY. 10018.

Re : By Degrees A Tricky Transition From Fossil Fuel

New York Times, Science section, Tuesday Nov. 11th. 2014

Dear Mr. Gillis,

 Congratulations! You are indeed the lead trumpeter for the NYT Green Warming Marching Band if you dig my tune.!  Nothing wrong with blowing a good trumpet,  even if it is for the NYT,  but be careful!  Remember when Joshua blew his at Jericho….the walls came tumbling down.   

We don’t want that happening in New York! Right?

Let’s not mince words!, for a while now  I’ve been following  your ‘BY DEGREES’ piece on Global Warming, or what they now call Climate Change.  That terminological reconfiguration was a smart move, nothing wrong with that!  Better be safe than sorry I always say, especially for you journalists when you get into the prognostication business.  

So! We’ve got the outcome thing covered whichever way the thermometer goes,  but all this headlong charge into Wind and Solar has been bothering me for a while  and I’m relieved that finally you got it ..  Justin Time eh!  Oops ! I forgot; Justin Gillis.

Well done! You hit the Danes on the Jutland with that one!    What are those 5.6 million Danes going to do when the wind stops blowing and the Norwegians won’t give back the electricity  they owe from pumping up their hydro electric dams when there was too much wind? And Danish wind to boot!   More to the point what are they going to do when 45 million Brits., who shut down their Nukes and dirty old coal plants, are begging for a few tera-watts  to save them from freezing in the dark? Eh?

Well I don’t mind sharing this one with you; the Brits will do OK without Danish Wind. They’ve got Lord Browne Fracker!  You know,  the chap who changed British Petroleum to Beyond Petroleum,  jumped out  the closet, quit BP and started fracking all over North England.  

Now you seem to be a bright sort of fellow, very literate if not so numerate.  After all, apart from a few recent exceptions, there’s  not many Dodos on the NYT payroll, so you may have guessed by now that I am packed in the sardine section of an Airbus, at Mach .75 , 35k ft. and reading your piece in the Times.  Incidentally, when you say “BY DEGREES” are we talking about Fahrenheit, Uncalibrated, Celsius or Kelvin? Perhaps you should put that little circle with F, U, C or K after ‘degrees’ so that any real scientists reading it would know what the f*** you’re on about.

Now Articles like yours  tend to make one think.   So it occurred to me as I sipped an inferior wine while nibbling fruits and nuts, (appropriately  since I was departing California which harbours  large numbers of both),  how lucky I was to be propelled by kerosene and not Danish wind.  Further, with the aid of a slide-rule, (which need not be switched off in flight),   I calculated that it would require 70,000 horses or 350,000 galley slaves at max exertion, to get this Airbus off the ground.   Suddenly the sardine section seemed less crowded!


Well, not to worry, you’re on the right track now, and being an expert in these matters myself I don’t mind helping you avoid the obvious pitfalls while sweeping on with the grand fallacy.

As luck would have it i’m available.  Let me know when we can start.

Yours from the last Bastion of independent and Unfunded Natural Scientists,

Harvey H. Homitz

Purveyor of Sensible Science to the Inumerate Literati.


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