Making Plastic Chairs Out of Thin Air

From:   The desk of Harvey H Homitz,

Office Bar and Grill
23°43’N  82°08’W
Planet Earth.
August 7th.2014

To:   Mr. Charles Osgood,
c/o 25,000 podcasts,
and 300+/- Radio stations.
Westwood One ,
New York, NY.

   Re:  Carbon Recycling; Making Plastics out of Thin Air;

The Osgood File. August 5th. 2014

Dear Mr. Osgood,

That was a lovely piece about your chaps making plastic chairs out of thin air!   It’s good to know that since (the concensus of) the majority of scientists  identified the devil in CO2 and other GHGs (GreenHouse Gases),  we can make plastic chairs out of him!  Try doing that when he was a serpent in the Garden of Eden beguiling gullible girls with low hanging fruit! Eh! What a transition! Poof! The serpent vanishes into thin air. I’ll bet David Copperfield would like to add that trick to his reportoire.

But back to the point, being a frustrated prestidigitor myself, and a dumb foreigner to boot, I’d really like to know how they do it.  Do I smell a rat, or is it just a bit fishy?

In the old days we used to start with hydrocarbons from petroleum,  add  salt for the chlorine and then with a bit of clever pressure cooking.. Bingo!  out the oven came Polyvinylchloride ( PVC to the Rubes) or something like it,  perfect for making cheap plastic stacking chairs  of the kind that nearly severed me mate Trevor from his family jewels……..

Now cheap plastic stacking chairs flex when you sit in them,  especially if you’re on the heavy side like Trev. So when Trev sat down at the Concert with a case of Frosties wearing his loose baggy shorts with no undies, the family jewels somehow dropped through the widened slot.   No problem!   Until he got up to point Percival at the porcelain.  You guessed it!  Unburdened the slot closed around the jewels like Rommel’s Panzers  in a pincer movement.  I will say no more.   Get the full story on utube: “The Tragic Tale of Trevor’s Trapped Testicles”.

But I digress. Your blokes at Newlight taking GHGs out of thin air to make Hydrocarbons to make testicle-trapping plastic chairs seems a long way round unless they’re not telling us the full Monty;  like how much energy they use and how big are the carbon credit  subsidies?

Are they really onto something? Or are they just another Green Energy whelp suckling at Aunt Sam’s  ample bosom?

Let me know what their dodge is… or is it all good prestidigitation??!

Lets get to the bottom of it,

Yours from the far Right

Harvey H Homitz


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